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Pursuing God Involves Both Relationship and Rules!

Those of you who have been around NWBC for a while are familiar with the phrase: “Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.” I heard this principle 30 years ago from Dr. Dick Day, a former leader in Campus Crusade for Christ and now a family therapist in Southern California. He coined this maxim to mean that if we demand duty from our children without developing a relationship with them, it can ultimately lead them to exasperation resulting in disrespectful behavior.

	Now, we must be careful in the practical implementation of this truism. Some parents try so hard to be liked or accepted by their children they fail to properly discipline. Let’s face it, sometimes children can pull a guilt trip on their parents making them feel like ogres! This may cause parents to overcompensate and thus compromise their God-appointed position of authority.

Now to my main point in addressing relationship and rules: What Dr. Day is saying has relevance to our relationship with our Heavenly Father.

As we endeavor to honor and obey God this year, it is important for us to understand what God is after. Somewhere deep within us is the propensity to think that performance is what impresses God most. In the world, it is often true that one’s acceptance, or even value, is tied to accomplishment. But God is all about drawing you to Himself in an ever-deepening relationship. His goal is to capture our hearts, not by some magic spell against our will, but through our realization of all that God has given us through the sacrifice of His own Son.

I think the ideal response God wants from us is something like: “Almighty God, I am overwhelmed by Your amazing grace, Your unfailing love, Your willingness to forgive me and have mercy on my soul. I willingly and happily surrender my life to You and consider it my greatest honor to know You, love You, and serve You!

We tend to think that pursuing a more righteous life, setting higher standards, or starting good habits and breaking bad ones is what God desires most from us.

But God is after, first and foremost, a close, meaningful relationship with us – His children. The Apostle Paul, a truly obedient servant of Christ – who met Him personally, understood this essential desire of God (see Philippians 3:8-10).

Simply put: God wants you to know Him well! Therefore, this must be the number one pursuit of our lives – to know His character, His nature, His personality, His very heart.

How does this come about? By growing in our walk with God. How does that come about? By following God’s precepts and principles as laid out in the Bible. In other words, obeying God. As we reflect Christ in our character, we come to know the character of Almighty God. As we seek to do God’s will, we come to know God’s ways. Obeying the “rules” or “commands” of God, when understood as coming from a loving Heavenly Father, actually produces freedom to live as God intended. Freedom is not the right to do what you want: It is having the power to do what you ought. It is only under the power of the Holy Spirit that we can do what we ought! Saying no to the dictates of the flesh and yes to God liberates us to be who we were created to be!

So, simply put, though God wants our devotion more than our duty, it turns out that surrendering to God’s will (obedience to Him) is the path to a deep and abiding relationship with Him! By the way, it is the same principle with your children!

Read carefully: “Jesus replied: if anyone loves Me he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and We will come to Him and make Our home with Him” (John 14:23).

A true relationship with God cannot be experienced without pursuing His will above our own!

John Wallace Miller